William missed the experience.

“I didn’t do anything. I was a muse for her self immolation.”

“You wish you were serious.”

“I am. She ran hot and exploded all over herself As I sat laid naked on the floor. I laid there and watched with my fucking avocado toast as the relationship burned the fuck up in the first 3 months with 7 more to go. ”

“I can’t..”

“I wasn’t involved. My body was there at times but my presence was indistinguishable. when I wasn’t there my conversations sounded like they were coming through the walls of her place; all around her only equipped to stimulate her cells.”

“You're reasonable. More than most.”

“I say things yes. But I’m not the sun.”

“Last I discovered.”

“She never cared about me.”

“"I’m not understanding.”

“She destroyed the word love by her frequency of use.  Wanted to live with me. When we both knew it was said with heights of frothiness.”

“Ok.”

“Told me our sex destroyed her IQ. Apparently it pushed her to the ground in stores when she thought about it. Superlatives and platitudes waiting in the corners of her mouth. I wanted desperately to bask in them But I was suspicious. I didn’t want it to be real.”

"I can’t help but want to at least know her at.”

“ I lost all of my footing at how much she claimed she wanted me,and now see it was just her reflection.

You were interrupting her

She never knew me.”

“How could that be true?”

I wasn’t there in her mind she was blinded by herself; I was these intense reflections that heated her the fuck up and forced her to leave texts in a delirium.’

Shit

Shes back now. Like a fever that’s lifted.I am a relationship that she has forgotten about as if it was some drug induced 10 months.

You’re a dealer

“I have been lied to.”

“You’re in shock. You were abused by an experience you never got to experience.

“I don’t know what I am but that experience left me with no image to see in the mirror.”

And she doesn’t want to remember.

I can’t…

Right.